It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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