Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
