the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
