i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
