I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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