Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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