"it" just moved
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
