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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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