Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Panties = found
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
