I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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