Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
