weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
