I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
