This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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