Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Randomize
