They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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