every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
