He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
