We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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