hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
