Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
