what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize