I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
