its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
worst night to have a conscience
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
