You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
