I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
