I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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