I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize