She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
