Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The adults are the big ones right?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
