theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
