one two three fourrrrnication!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
no you cant smoke seaweed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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