you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
