The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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