is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
