I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
