I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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