You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
