When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
