I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
