Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
