She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
