I wish i was in the wii world.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
