Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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