I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
