I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
