I skipped work to stalk him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i think im in europe. pls send help
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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