my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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