but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
