have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
