Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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