so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
