My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
