2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
