You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
