I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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