you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
