is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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