I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize