belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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