A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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