Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
