This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
