Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize