I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize