I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
