Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
