Don't you send me to vm
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
did i walk over a car last night?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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