He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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