ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Drunk is a universal language darling
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