I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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