it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
