Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
