In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
