You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
