I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
