my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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