Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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