I forgot how hot balto sounded
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
