There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
