also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
