just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
