The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
